Storm

I lay asleep on a slumber after a moment of wrath and anger.

The sky brew gray even in the starlit sky and I laid there, feeling a gush of angry wind rattling my window as I awoken by a scream of thunder.

My heart shuddered as I laid there, awake.

Afraid. Alone.

I knew I could escape in my sleep from the frightful rage that is the storm outside my window but the lightning flashes catches my eye before I drift away in my escape.

One flash and the face of my father appears before my eyes and his images fades away, a sullen look from his face drifts away like sand from the palm of my hand.

Another flash and the face of my sister appears before my eyes and she doesn't recognize me anymore, a puzzling look of familiarity and she fades away thinking that its just another stranger on the crossroads of her life.

Flash after flash as I try to escape, the different faces drift away with a certain look and they all do not recognize for who I am.

I am me. I am who I am and I grasp what is mine in my hands.

Flash after flash, a part of me drifts away as well. Parts of me call out to the faces, and I give myself up to them to let them know I am here. And every call is ignored as I lose a bit of myself, inch by inch, measure by measure.

I curl up like a ball, within myself, searching for something that is still left in me and all I find is nothing but an emptiness that gave me this realization that I am alone.

One by one, they all leave me and the angry storm churns and screams and howls like a lost banshee with an empty song crying out and cursing something that leads to nothing at all.

I lie awake, conscious and I scramble within myself to feel something. I touch myself, feeling the sensations creeping up my nervous system and I search for the one thing that tells me that I'm not alone but everything seem to drift away.

There's a voice, I hear it and she tells me everything is going to be okay. That an emptiness is meant to be filled with something, anything. I hold on to that and I let go of myself.

I breathe.

There is something. I felt something and I breathed.

And I laid there just filled with so much doubt and questions.

I felt angry, confused. I possessed a deep sense of hatred towards something but I don't know what and flash after flash, I strike at anything hoping to come to some justice to what I feel.

I only end up to nothing at all and the void fills me up again.

I cannot run, I cannot escape from everything that weathers against me.

Flash.

Crash.

The fluorescent hurt my eyes.